How God used a chance meeting

Hi, I’m Eli and I live in Mexico and I have a story for you.

So a group of friends and I decided that we wanted to go every Wednesday to share the gospel here at the central park in our city, which is Puebla, in Mexico. And so one of those Wednesdays we arrived there and we split into pairs. And so my husband and I decided to share with a young man sitting on a bench.

It was really nice because as we started the conversation we realized that he was being really open about his thoughts and his life. And he shared with us that one of his biggest dreams is to enter the military school, and that he was there actually to think about it and to train. And so we got to the point where we transitioned to present the gospel by using the GodTools app. And so when we asked him if he wanted to receive Christ, he said yes. He wanted to pray and right after he prayed to receive Christ he said that he had prayed with all his heart and that if he died right after that moment he knew that he would go into heaven with God. And so that was just a moment full of joy for us and for him as well.

So that’s just one of many stories that we’ve heard of when we’ve had the opportunity to share the gospel by using this amazing resource.

3 tips for starting a spiritual conversation in the most helpful way

At one point in my life, my job involved spending several hours each day trying to start spiritual conversations with total strangers. I was trained to start conversations about God by using spiritual interest questionnaires, decks of cards about different worldviews, and packets of photographs. As I had only ever spoken about my faith with friends and family, finding tools that worked allowed me to overcome my lack of confidence and fear of sounding stupid.

Over nine years, I talked with several hundred people about Jesus, the gospel, and what it might mean to them. But crucially, I knew at the time I was unlikely to see most of these people again.

When it comes to talking with people who matter to you – friends, family, co-workers – it can feel like there's a different dynamic. You have more at stake.

I now know the things I learned by talking with strangers changed the way I had conversations with friends. The skills I learned were transferable.

Of all the different tools and techniques I was given to talk with people, none was more important than learning how to start a spiritual conversation.

Being completely honest, when I started sharing my faith regularly, the focus was on what was most helpful to me. I saw myself as the one taking all the risks and carrying the weight of every conversation. I no longer see things that way.

Starting a meaningful conversation about God with someone is as much about understanding what’s most helpful to the other person, if not more so.

So let’s think about a few tips for starting spiritual conversations in helpful ways.

#1 Avoid focusing too much on what will work

When I was being trained to start spiritual conversations, I always had one question at the back of my mind: “What will definitely, or almost definitely, work?”

It’s natural to look for approaches that contain the greatest potential for success, or even the least risk of humiliating failure. But is this really helpful?

Think about a few of the people in your life you’d like to talk with about God. We’re thinking of people who do not share your spiritual beliefs yet. Maybe you’re thinking of a friend from university, someone you work with, a person you see regularly at the gym, or one of your parents or grandparents.

These people are individuals, created by God to be unique and diverse. They may have things in common, such as the location they live in and the language they use. But they have different interests, different backgrounds, different worldviews.

So why would there be a single way of starting a spiritual conversation with such a diverse group of people?

Change your focus from finding techniques that guarantee success to thinking about what each person needs in order to enter into the conversation you hope to have.

Here are a few things they might need:

A sense that the conversation is as much about what they think as what you believe.
A conversation built around language you both understand equally.
A safe environment to open up about deeper things.

Now the focus is shifting from what will help you, to what will help the other person.

When Jesus spoke with the woman at the well, Matthew the tax collector, and a Roman Centurion, each conversation began very differently. But Jesus thought carefully about how to communicate with each one as an individual. In the same way, you’re going to think about who you’re talking with before you think about what you want to say.

#2 One size does not fit all

GodTools has created the Openers tool because each conversation is unique. Every conversation is a meeting point between two or more people whose minds work in different ways. Our task is to find common ground, and not treat people as though they are a category or type.

A conversation is not just a Christian talking with an atheist, for example. It's a unique individual talking with another unique individual.

Think about the person you most want to have a spiritual conversation with. What do you know about them in terms of their interests, their opinions or beliefs, and the way they like to communicate with others?

By taking the time to think about these things, you can be confident you’re going to be respectful and helpful when you decide how to start a conversation about God with the person.

You might even say something like, “Hey, I was thinking about you the other day, and I realized I’ve never asked you what you believe about spiritual things. Would you feel comfortable telling me what your perspective on that stuff is?”

How often does someone actually tell you they’ve been thinking about you when you were not together, or express curiosity about your perspective on things?

It’s less common than most of us probably wish. I love talking with people who are genuinely curious about my experiences or views on things because I feel valued. The chances are so will the person you want to start a conversation with.

#3 Recognize when the conversation’s already started

Sometimes a spiritual conversation has started before you’ve even realized it.

As Christians we can wrongly presume two things; we always have to start any spiritual conversation, and the other person probably does not want to have one. These are not true.

Even if someone says they’re not interested in hearing why you became a Christian, they might be willing to talk about what gives their life meaning, or how hopeful they feel about the future. They might want to talk with someone about a sick family member, or a parenting issue. These can be spiritual conversations, too.

You might not be explaining the gospel to someone, but you’re building trust, applying your faith to real-life challenges, and learning to have an authentic two-way conversation.

In my experience, the more willing I am to talk about what other people are thinking about, or what’s happening in their lives, the more I suddenly find them asking me about something more obviously spiritual.

Always be curious about people, and they are more likely to become curious about you.

Where to go from here

If you’re looking for specific ways to start a conversation with someone, the GodTools app provides everything from gospel explanations to an Emoji survey you can send to a friend.

Now with the Openers tool, you can also choose from dozens of questions people have used in real conversations.

Simply pick a category you think your friend might be interested in talking about, then choose from a selection of questions to get the conversation going.

Openers is here

Transcript:

Hi, my name is Samm and I’m on the GodTools team.

At GodTools, we believe everyone can have natural and honest conversations about faith, but we also know that for many people knowing how or where to start is the hardest part.

When I was in high school I took my lunch in a brown paper bag every single day. My mom wrote a question on the outside of the bag for me to discuss with people at the table. Some days the questions were silly and some days they were more serious. These questions gave me incredible opportunities to have great conversation and hear others perspectives.

Having seen the power of a good question firsthand, I’m so excited to introduce to you Openers, the latest tool from GodTools.

Openers is a collection of questions on a wide range of topics. These questions have been used to start spiritual conversations all over the world.

Choose a topic you think you and the other person are interested in and pick one or more questions to get the conversation going. You can find Openers in the ‘All tools’ tab within the app.

As always, we’d love to hear about your experience with this tool, especially if you have a story of using an Opener with someone you know.

Thanks for using GodTools. We have more exciting developments coming in 2022 so stay tuned.

Follow this link on your mobile device to see the new tool.

I was sure my friend had no interest in talking about God

Transcript:

Hi, my name is Kristin. I want to share a story with you about a friend of mine

I met Shannon because her boyfriend Al was good friends with my husband Jack. Al was a groomsman at our wedding, and Shannon came along as his plus one.

She knew that we were Christians, she said to Al, ‘Listen, if they put me at a table with a bunch of Christians who try to talk to me about God stuff, I’ll tell them I’m a Hindu!’

Needless to say, Al told Jack, and Jack told me. and I thought: ‘ message received, no God stuff. So, I’ll focus on being a friend and see what happens.’ Fast forward to last fall, when Jack and I were able to visit them in their new home.

And out of nowhere, in the middle of dinner, Shannon announces, ‘You guys know that we still talk all the time about what the pastor said at your wedding.’ His message about I forgive you being more important to a marriage than I love you had really stuck with them and had an impact on their relationship that they were able to share with us. And the next day she started asking us loads of questions about church.

Having these conversations with Shannon was a great reminder for me that people who seem uninterested can become curious. That they are listening when you talk.

Because Jack and I focused on being a friend to her and continued showing up for her in her life, we were the ones she would turn to when she had a question.

How to talk about God with people who are uninterested

Apatheist. This is a new word to me. I discovered it while searching Google for something else.

"An apatheist is someone who is not interested in accepting or rejecting any claims that gods exist or do not exist. The existence of a god or gods is not rejected, but may be designated irrelevant."

Wikipedia

I know atheists. I know lots of agnostics. But I’ve yet to meet someone who described themself as an apatheist.

However, I have met people who apparently had no desire to have a spiritual conversation with me.

It’s easier to start conversations with people when you know they are already interested. I can remember telling myself that I should leave the uninterested people to God. I figured I’d wait till they showed some interest before talking with them about the gospel.

But why would I write off trying to have a spiritual conversation with someone I care about, just because I’m not certain they’re interested yet?

The answer probably lies more in my own anxiety than in concern for their preferences.

What if you were labeled “uninterested”?

I was curious about God long before I became a Christian. I wondered whether my life had a meaning or purpose.

Few people knew this about me. Sometimes I kept it hidden. Other times my curiosity died down for a while.

But there were also times when I struggled to find someone I felt safe talking with about my questions.

I’m sure some of my Christian friends presumed I was uninterested. Many of my lifestyle choices reinforced that idea.

The truth is, I spent years excluding myself from conversations about faith because I thought I would never be able to live the way Christians did.

But then some people took a step of faith with me. They asked questions that made me feel like my opinions and experiences, however confused, had value. That was how I began considering what God thought about me. What if he believed I was worth his time and attention?

So how do you have the conversation you’re praying for when a person shows no interest in God or even spiritual things? This is the question we’re going to try to answer.

No two conversations are the same. So if anyone gives you a simple formula, it should come with a warning label “DO NOT ACCEPT SIMPLE FORMULAS!”

But here are some questions I suggest asking yourself that I hope will help.

6 questions to ask before talking with someone you think is uninterested

1. Has the person actually said they’re not interested in God?

I can think of several people in my own life who I presume belong in the “not interested in spiritual things” category. But I’ve yet to actually ask them if that’s true.

It’s natural to piece together an opinion of someone’s opinion about God or faith from your various interactions.

But some people have just never been asked what they believe about God. In some cases that’s because the Christians they know presumed this conversation was off-limits.

2. What is the person uninterested in?

Words and phrases often mean different things to different people. Especially loaded language, such as “God” or “spiritual.” So if you ask someone what they think about these things, confirm they understand your terms and intentions correctly. You might be asking an open question about someone’s spirituality, but they may presume you mean a particular brand of religion.

If someone tells you they are not interested in God, you could say, “Can you explain why that’s the case? Is it the idea of God even existing, or something else?”

The person might be afraid that you’re gearing up to try and convert them. Or they may fear talking about spiritual things might lead to friction in your relationship. Be sensitive to your friend’s apprehensions. Reassure him or her that you genuinely want to understand this part of their life.

3. Why is the person uninterested?

Let’s imagine the other person has explained why they’re not interested in talking about God. If you’re confident the other person feels safe with you, this does not mean a door is closing.

Try paraphrasing what you think you’ve heard your friend say. This achieves two things:

It confirms you’ve understood the other person properly.

Your sensitive curiosity demonstrates you value him or her.

Once you know you’ve understood your friend’s perspective, try asking, “Have you always felt this way?”

If the answer is yes, try discussing what it takes for people to change the way they see the world.

If the answer is no, try exploring how their current perspective formed. Was it new information, particular experiences, or something else that most influenced the way they see things now?

Either way, begin by asking a question — rather than making a statement — resisting the temptation to take control of the conversation.

4. What’s going on in the person’s life right now?

Apathy often grows or declines with circumstances. What someone thinks about spiritual things is connected to what’s happening, or has happened, in their actual life.

Mental and emotional health, for example, influence the way someone feels about Christianity’s claim to offer the only real and lasting source of hope. That’s a bold promise. The risk of disappointment becomes a barrier to many people.

So ask your friend questions about his or her whole life, not just spiritual beliefs. It’s all connected.

5. Have you demonstrated how deeply you are interested in them?

As Christians, we believe God is interested in every person because he created each individual. But many people fear this is not true. They feel overlooked, misunderstood, or even forgotten by God.

The way we talk with people is an opportunity to demonstrate how God feels about them.

Some people fear Christians only want to talk about what they believe. Sometimes that’s true. That’s why GodTools stresses the value of being curious about the people we talk with.

What’s the ABCs of GodTools? Always. Be. Curious.

It’s not a trade-off, or a bait and switch. You’re not luring someone into a certain conversation by asking them a few questions. If you ever feel that’s what you’re doing, hit pause.

Give yourself permission not to have “the right conversation.”

Be curious – then be more curious – then a bit more.

Do you care about the person enough to listen to them, or just enough until they’ll listen to you?

6. Can you focus on building a relationship before starting the conversation?

If you’ve been praying for an opportunity to talk about God with someone, you might feel under pressure. Each time you meet, you might find yourself wondering if this is the opportunity you’ve asked for.

GodTools exists to help you feel ready for every conversation about Jesus. But sometimes this means having the wisdom to know when to let go of having a specific conversation.

It’s important not to view building a relationship and initiating a spiritual conversation as mutually exclusive. See them as parts of the same thing; loving the other person the way Jesus calls you to.

You know you’re investing in your relationship with someone when:

You refer to things the person told you in a previous conversation. It’s a way of saying you care about them.
You’re happy to talk about mutual interests or look to find some.
You invite the other person to enjoy a shared experience or say yes to their invitation.

None of these examples guarantee a conversation about Jesus. But they all help create a relationship where talking about deeper things feels more natural.

When you’re sharing your life with someone, being curious about the way they see the world — including God — makes sense.

God will provide opportunities to talk about him as you love someone the way he does..

The power of being interested in people before they’re interested in God

I think we’re surrounded by people who, for whatever reason, think they are not worth God’s time. It’s painful to feel like God is uninterested in you. When people feel this way, they tend to become apathetic towards God as well.

Other people just think about spiritual things in a different way. Maybe they use different language or have a perspective that’s far removed from the way the Christians they know think about things.

They are not interested in having the conversation they think their Christian friends want to have. But if the conversation is going to include questions like “Where does hope come from?”, “Can people really change?”, or ”Does life have a greater meaning?”, they’re all in.

A few people paid attention to me when others had deemed me “spiritually uninterested.” They gave me space to work out what I thought and, more importantly, what my real questions and issues were.

In doing so, they brought me closer to God.

How I finally had the conversation with my mom I prayed for

Transcript:

My name is Cristi and I want to tell you about a conversation I had with my mom.

I grew up in a family where spiritual things were not talked about. I started a relationship with Jesus after high school but years went by before I could talk with my mom about it.

It all changed due to some tragic circumstances in our family. I asked my mom if she understood what the gospel meant. She said something about Jesus dying for our sins but really did not know what that meant.

Because we were in different states I had her download GodTools and was actually able to take her through “Knowing God Personally.” She clearly saw that she did not have a relationship with God, but she wanted one.

She just could not believe that she did not have to be good enough for God.

I was able to take her back to a story from her teens when she made a mistake and her father yelled at her. I asked how she wished her dad would have responded to her and she said, “I wish he would have asked if I was okay.”

My mom had been viewing God through the lens of her earthly father who she felt was never satisfied with her. But when we looked at the Bible verses in “Knowing God Personally” it made complete sense.

So over FaceTime, my 77-year-old mom prayed the prayer in GodTools and decided to follow Jesus.

Understanding that she does not have to try hard to earn God’s love and forgiveness has been everything.

It truly is a highlight of my life to be able to use a digital tool in order to introduce my mom to Jesus.

Try a conversation starter with your family

It sounds simple – just talk about the weather or a TV show you’re enjoying.

But being intentional about having deeper conversations, and talking about spiritual things, feels different. It seems more complicated or even scary.

Using GodTools conversation starters helps you feel ready to talk with anyone.

A seasonal sample of our latest tool

This time of year many of us are looking forward to spending time with people we love. Check out some questions to help you start a great conversation.

Conversations mailbox

Do you have a question for GodTools about having conversations about Jesus? Do you want to suggest a topic for our newsletter? Drop your message here.

How to start spiritual conversations with someone in your family

The family context causes its own particular challenges when it comes to having spiritual conversations. You might expect a negative reaction, an awkward situation, hard questions or even an argument.

Talking with a family member can often lead to the feeling of “Oh no, here we go again.”

So how can you go about this in a way that’s less likely to cause tension?

How you think about conversations with your family is as important as the actual words you choose.

Here are three ingredients to having the right mindset about spiritual conversations with a family member:

1. Forgiveness

If there is tension in the relationship, it becomes much harder to have an open and honest conversation, especially about spiritual things.

Forgiveness does not mean excusing the other person’s behavior if that person hurt you in some way.

Forgiving the other person demonstrates God’s love by keeping the door open to relationship. This paves the way for honest conversation.

2. Humility

It’s easy to make wrong assumptions about people in our family.

Practice humility in a spiritual conversation by being curious.

The more curious you are, the more the other person will realize you’re genuinely trying to understand him or her.

3. Patience

With your family, you can take a longer-term approach to talking about your faith.

Think about each time you discuss your beliefs as part of an ongoing conversation.

Try not to worry about covering the whole gospel in one discussion.

God is working in this person’s life.

What makes talking about faith with your family so hard?

Click an answer below to see our suggestions.

My family thinks my faith is unimportant.

Focus on talking about why following Jesus matters to you and how he changed your life.

You can listen patiently and show respect, even if the other person does not.

Give yourself time to think about how you see God working in your life. Then you’ll be ready to share that with your family.

Conversations with my family feel superficial and uninteresting.

Even small talk can help you learn more about your family.

Ask about special memories they have or past experiences to keep the conversation moving toward meaningful things.

Consider asking a question like, “What’s a favorite memory you have from childhood?”

My relationship with my family is not strong enough for us to talk about faith together.

Focus on being interested in them and things they care about. This helps you build a connection and creates a platform for talking about deeper things.

Try writing down things to pray about for each family member. Make time each day to pray for them.

Conversations about religion always end in arguments.

Approach your family member with a desire to understand his or her position, rather than defend your own.

If the conversation feels like it’s becoming an argument, pause. You might need to come back to it later.

Alternatively, you could ask the other person why he or she thinks the tone of your conversation is changing.

I struggle to overcome cultural or generational differences with this family member.

Try to understand why the person thinks the way he or she does.

Is there a topic or issue you can start a conversation about to help you understand your family member better?

Ask a question like, “How did you come to think that way about this issue?” or “What’s the most important part of this issue to you?”

Remember, your past experiences of talking about faith with your family do not have to determine what future conversations look like.

God is working in your family. The way people think or feel about God and faith can change over time.

Be ready for the conversations you hope to have. Then trust God to create opportunities.

Explore more GodTools Lessons

This content was adapted from one of the Lessons available in the GodTools app.

Watch this video to find out how GodTools Lessons help you have the conversations you’re praying for.

Would you pray for someone you just met?

Transcript:

Hi, my name is Ann. I recently moved to a new city and so I’m having to find a new everything.

After searching online I found a place to get my hair cut. Before going in I prayed for my stylist and I expressed to the Lord that I wanted to be available to him and was expectant that he would be with me.

So I went in and we got to talking and before long we were talking about living far from family. I found out that her sister is getting married in her home country later this month but that my stylist was not able to go because her passport had not been returned yet.

It was then that I sensed the Lord wanted me to pray for her. So before leaving I expressed to her that I was a follower of Jesus Christ and asked if it would be okay if I prayed for her.

She looked a little puzzled, but she agreed. And so we bowed and I prayed and expressed that simple request. My eyes filled with tears as I just wanted her to experience God’s love in this way.

I do not know how God’s going to answer that prayer or how he’s going to use this in her life. But I give thanks that he led clearly, that he was with us, and that I had the opportunity to express his love in that way.

I asked my friends one question each day

Hi, my name is Samm. A conversation I remember having is one about joy.

You see, when I was in high school I took a brown paper bag to lunch every single day. My mom would write a question on the outside of the bag for me to discuss with people at lunch. Some days it was a silly question and some days it was more spiritual. But it always gave me the opportunity to talk with people about different things.

One day the question was, “What color would you be if you were a color, and why?”

I said yellow because it’s a representation of joy. It ended up leading me into a conversation about what is really satisfying and what some purpose and meaning to life and emotions are.

My mom gave me really incredible opportunities to have conversations by asking simple questions. And so I’ve learned that when you ask a good question it can often lead to having a really good discussion.